Saturday, May 30, 2009

Is Summer Over Yet?

before I get started I wanna say I love my boys, and would never want to change the fact that I'm their mommy. For the record I've been off my antidepressants for sometime as we have been trying new meds to find the right one. With no luck.

Boy I so loved that 3 hours a day I got without Alex while he was in school. I miss it. Alex is so into everything. Joel sleeps on the couch so mornings I've been trying to make the boys play in the back part of the house due to they are really loud not to mention they have nice rooms they never play in. (note to self. don't buy E any toys on his birthday) So i shut the door to the bath room , my room and the door to the living room leaving A & E's rooms open. But every 5 mins Alex is opening the living room door to say I love you, see what I'm doing , or any little thing he can think of. And while he's got the door open Eian comes in so I have to shoo Alex out, carry Eian to his room, come back shut the door so not to wake up Sir Cranky Pants Joel. (WooHoo I just did my 1st strikeout) This goes on til either Joel wakes up and yells or It gets time for him to go to work. Either way for 1-3 hours.

Then Eian has learned to climb and anything and everything is fair game. Not only does he climb but he stands there and most times falls off whatever he's standing on.(falls, Jumps same thing in this house.) I feel like I'm losing my mind. Terrible 2's with Alex is nothing com paired to Eian. OMG I'm not gonna survive this at all.

So lets talk about me after all it's my blog. I've been on and off antidepressants since 2002 when I graduated High school(sure I needed them long before that but thats another story). I had just came off them when I got pregnant with Alex (didnt think I needed them any more). I was on them while I was pregnant with Eian (dr oked it and i lowered my dose) came off my 3rd trimester. and they put me back on them in the hospital when Eian was 3 days old. ( I was all alone most days as E came early and nobody could get days off and I was just told my baby "might" have Down syndrome). Been on them since. Except when I run out and cant afford to see the dr. (I have no insurance at all). So anyways back to my story. I have a great dr who really cares about me and works with me seeing her Cuz my money problem. My mom and dr suspected I was bipolar ( I did long before them) so when I Ran outta refills this last time, She decided to try me on bipolar meds. Samples bless her heart. 1st was Zprexa 2 weeks no difference(she told me 2 weeks I should see changes) Then Seroquel, Nothing. So they are guessing it's not bipolar. ( I have no clue at this point.) So my mom puts in a call and talks about a high dose antidepressant at nigh a lower dose in the morning and keep taking my xanax( did I forget to tell ya I'm on that one too) anyways. So I'm ok with that whatever gets me functioning again. So I call Friday before Memorial day and the nurse tells me the dr is gone and to call back Tuesday I count down days til then only to be told she's not coming back til Friday. so yesterday they call my prescription is at the desk come get it. I lug both kids in the( who have been driving me insane) Get it head to car buckle both boys in sit down open it up to see what she gave me.

* when I came off my antidepressants to start the bipolar meds I was on 80mg of prozac a day and it still wasn't working all the way*

The dr had wrote me a script for 20mg of prozac a day. WTH!!!! if 80mg wasn't working what makes them think 20mg will. So mom calls but it'll be Monday before they call back. My mom ( a nurse) tells me to just double up til she can get the dr. Cause she knows I NEED my meds for the sake of everyone around me.

So thats why I haven't been talking much. sorry. I did manage to make yesterday a little better and scored a cute diaper for Eian. Can't wait to get it. it's got thing one and thing two on it.

Well it was Sat when I started writing this and now it's Sun. Joel just got home I'm gonna go aggravate him some :)


datri said...

Sounds like you are going to have a long summer with your boys! Good luck!

Laurie's on Prozac, but when we upped her dosage she got about 10 times worse than before. So we went back to the original dosage and she seems to be doing better. She even went a whole week without crying. I may try to take her off them this summer. It seems weird to have your 7 year old kid on antidepressants. I've been on and off them since I was 16. Wellbutrin actually worked the best for me. Prozac and Zoloft were pretty useless.

Thanks for the magnet! I put it on my car every time I put Kayla in her car seat!

Dawn said...

I'm so glad you like it.